The Kitchen Sink

finally, some good fucking food.

I’m surprised it only took two movies, but finally, we have arrived. 

Brink! is a 1998 Disney Channel Original Movie starring Erik von Detten, most known for his role as Joshua in The Princess Diaries (he’s the douchebag Mia has a crush on) in the titular role of Brink, an aggressive inline skater.

Now, for those of you who, like me, weren’t aware of what aggressive inline skating is, it’s rollerskating but dangerous and pretending to be way cooler than it actually is. 

Yes, Disney made a teen movie about rollerskating. And it is phenomenal.

For starters, we literally open on a title card over a messy teenage boy bedroom, with the song Give by a band called The Suicide Machines playing. Then, we follow Brink as he gets ready to leave the house, quickly passing by his family who simply does not understand why he likes skating this much, and a father who absolutely despises his teen boy slang. And his teen boy swag.

It definitely feels like watching the pilot for a Disney Channel sitcom of the early 2000s, the camera follows first his voice then quickly accompanies him out of the house as he leaves a trail of stupefied adults behind him. The music, the acting, the costume design everything screams we really need kids to think this guy is cool, and yknow what, if I was a millennial and had the pleasure of watching this movie as it premiered, not only would I find him cool, I would have a massive crush on him AND his archnemesis.

So, the main plot of this movie revolves around Brink abandoning his friends to join X-Blades, a famous skating team that is captained by Brink’s rival, Val. He joins the team, his friends find out causing a major falling out, but he follows his heart and leaves X-Blades after a heartfelt conversation with his father where he admits to lying to him about not joining the team (which, by the way, was incredibly easy to do since the team manager didn’t ask the 15 year old for any proof of parental confirmation that he was allowed to get this literal job), and he goes back to his friends to help them win the skating championship.

This movie has everything: betrayal, 90s slang, unnecessary jumpcuts to teenagers skating, a banging soundtrack, cheating scandals and aggressive Disney acting. One of the scenes includes Brink making a “Nunya Business” joke to his sister.

And, as I’ve mentioned, after an hour of turning his back on his friends to try and get some extra cash to help at home since his father lost his job due to a workplace injury, Brink faces his rival Val in the final of the championship and, even though Val cheats by pretending to be injured to take advantage of Brink’s kindness (he refuses to finish any race where the opponent is injured), Val’s cheating is caught on camera and Brink ends up winning the championship, and we end on a freeze frame of Brink holding the trophy after rejecting the X-Blades manager’s proposal to replace Val on the team, with an original song called “Brink” playing in the background as we speed through the credits onto a Disney Channel Original Movie logo. 

The message of the movie is pretty clear, and is repeated to the audience several times by three different characters: becoming a sellout by turning something you love into a job will only make you miserable and suck away any love you had for that hobby. Also, friendship is magic, or whatever. But mostly the money stuff. 

Thank you, Disney, for reminding us that money isn’t everything. I’m sure that is also what the nice people at the Disney Corporation believe.

And the funny thing is, talking about the dangers of selling out and monetising your hobbies wasn’t really controversial back in the day, it wasn’t seen as an anti-capitalist dig, just sincere advice that parents would give their children. Just like having exactly one (1) diverse character in your movies didn’t make every right-winger lose their minds, but I digress.

I cannot express how much of a breath of fresh air this movie was. It has DCOM written all over it! Everything from the cringy dialogue, to the clothes, to the annoying little sister that gets a lot of scenes and about 95% of the sarcastic dialogue because she’s smarter than every adult around her, and even the way Brink’s room is decorated from wall to wall with poster (and a random telescope), is perfect. It doesn’t overstay its welcome either, being a perfect tight-90.

Brink! also has a very Disney group of friends for the protagonist. Two white boys who are very easy to confuse with one another, and who only serve as kind-hearted foils for Brink, and a latina called Gabriella, played by actress Christina Vidal also seen in the Freaky Friday remake, who’s the quintessential 90s not like other girls, would rather die than wear a dress and is more than ready to fight anyone who pisses her off, her own friends included. 

And yes, we do get a scene of Val telling Gabriella (who is Peruvian) to just “go back to Mexico”, because it’s Disney and we need our villains to be as obviously evil as possible. 

In conclusion, Brink! might be the third DCOM ever made, but in my heart, it is the first, as it truly embraces the zany silliness DCOMs are known for, from his banging soundtrack to its misunderstood “I just wanna skate, dad!” main character that was most definitely written as a way for Disney to stay cool with the kids and imitate Tony Hawk’s success. 

And to take a second to mention my favourite scene: near the very end of the movie, as Brink gets ready to face Val at the finals, Val promises to destroy Brink in the competition, to which the main character responds: “No matter what, at the end of the day, I’m not you, so it’s still a good day”. Absolutely destroyed. Good has triumphed once again. 

Final score: 3.5 stars out of 5, I think everyone should watch this movie. The 90s rocked! 

And spoiler alert, the next movie is Halloweentown and I am WAY too excited to revisit it.